Making lemonade out of the lemons is partly how my brain works. When something is awful, after I’ve complained about it a bit, I’ll start looking for the silver linings. I have to. Otherwise the negative experience is for nothing.
While we all need a moment to acknowledge the crappiness of any given situation, if you allow yourself to marinade in nothing but the bitterness, that’s exactly the flavor your life and your personality will take on. I didn’t want to become bitter because of my loss.
After Lach’s death, sometimes the silver linings were little things…the ability to sleep soundly (even though it took me forever to fall asleep) or losing that 10 lbs that I didn’t really want anyway (even though it was enormous stress that kept me from eating). I was tremendously humbled and blessed by all the people that reached out to support us during that time. People gave so generously of their time, their money, their vacation hours, their thought, and their prayer. There was simply no adequate way to thank people like I wanted to. It didn’t take long for me to see that response from others as the hands of God reaching out to hold us during that time. That was Him, finding his way to us, through you. Each individual act of kindness and compassion was like a drop that, when combined with the others, created an enormous wave of support. To experience that first hand was part of the lemonade.
I truly believe I am a better person because of my loss. I still have plenty of work to be done, but I am more empathetic to others in their struggles. I have more peace. I am able to be more confident in taking care of my own needs and the needs of my family with less pull from outside pressures. I have a better understanding of what really matters in this life. I have a better appreciation of the temporary nature of our existence. The people in our lives and the situations we are in will not last forever, so I make an effort enjoy the people and things that I love while I have them.
I met others who made lemonade after their losses and taught me that it was possible. Lach’s Legacy is my lemonade stand…this Capture Your Grief project is a lemonade stand. Making a connection with a bereaved parent, the little notes that acknowledge that a care package, a connection, or that sharing my experience out loud has somehow made a difference—those things, like a little packet of sugar, sweeten the deal.
